And I'm back!

…..And hello to my three loyal followers. I am back! I have indeed returned from the depths of being newly (or not so newly) anointed a mother and am ready to blog about motherhood as was planned 10 months ago. I know it has been awhile and if you want to unfollow me I will understand.

So what they tell you when you are pregnant but you don’t listen, or have no way to possibly comprehend how life will forever be fundamentally changed by having a child. Bringing a child into this world and being a mother is the most all-encompassing and humbling experience one can ever be a part of. The world and its goings on literally fell off to the wayside for a good six months as I struggled to figure out just who I am and how life works now that you are completely responsible for a wonderfully, amazing yet helpless human being. Life has been forever changed my identity, my place in this world, the way I look at the world-- no one can possibly prepare another person for that. How can they? And I think, that was the guidance I was really looking for in my “what the fuck to do with an infant class”. And I am sure that’s why in prenatal yoga, they just teach you to breathe and help you “find your inner space…”

AND I am still not sure if I quite know ‘what the fuck to do with an infant” but I must say both Walter and my houseplant, Roberta are alive and thriving, so I must be doing something right.

It’s been an adventure of unparalleled experience. I have been stretched to beyond what I thought I was capable of giving, doing, and being. The reward is immense: I have been in the front seat watching life develop before my eyes. Every morning is a new adventure, life now revolves around bowel movements, sleep patterns, and how to make the same game and toys exciting and fresh, by the end of the day your living room looks like Fisher Price threw up in it. And all the while, celebrating the tiniest of accomplishments I formerly took for granted (I flipped out and started crying the first time Walter held a rattle for more than 2 seconds, as an example).

And I hardly want to come off as being an expert, quite the contrary, I equate motherhood to bumbling around in the dark for the light switch. You eventually find it…..these will be the tales of how I find the light switch in the dark. I hope you stay, and I promise no more 10 month hiatus again.